Life is like a box of chocolates

Well...my blog...

I´m gonna let it maybe not all out, but I´m gonna try

Many people think leaving their home country is an easy thing, well it isn´t. 

I´ve never felt Venezuela was my home country, I always thought I was passing by and one day day I´ll return to my real home country USA so saying this I must say this couple of months out of Venezuela has make me realize that I was so wrong, I´m so new here, I´m making mistakes like nobody´s business, I´m being a 18 year old leaving their parents home to college at age 27. 

Yeap, even tho I´ve been living by myself for 5 years now it is must certainly not the same being in a new country, new culture, new language (that I´ve spoken since I can remember), new multi-cultural people (mexican, cubans, puertoricans, guatemalean, and so on), new bills, new expenses, new prices, new routes, new currency, new routine, new loneliness...

I´ve been bless by my mother and God to be born in this great country but when you got stuck in your head for 27 years the same culture, venezuelan, different, I mean, don´t get me wrong, here things work a lot better than in Venezuela just to say it politely but for me is different, is changing the tape, is forgetting everything I use to know about life, about myself and learning to be a new person where yes, capitalism and money rules the day by day and taxes, oh taxes.

So this is me saying, I love being here but I miss my friends, my family, my boyfriend, my mom, my mestre, my little students, my marroncito every morning, and no obligations, yes I didn´t have any true obligation in life, I didn´t paid cable, wi-fi, home insurance, electricity, I just paid my rent, my food, my bus ride every day, my gym, my capoeira monthly payment and actually that was it because I didn´t pay taxes since my wage was below the goverment´s requirements.

So, yeah, I´m an american and venezuelan, who has lived her life inside a bubble, a very dangerous bubble named Caracas, and now my bubble popped, responsabilites came knocking on my door and I just really really don´t want to answer jejej but the sure know how to know that door down.

I think with time the feeling of not knowing where I belong it will pass, I think and truly believe even in hard days like today, and yesterday and the day before that, that I will truly fullfill my dreams just as I came here to do, I will have a great Capoeira group with little kids running around doing hand and headstands and calling me Pêssego, teacher, whatever they want...waiting for their after lesson treat and that I won´t be alone anymore, because I will have them, my real and true motivation, my motor in life, my Capoeira.

I also want to be a full time Process Engineer, I studied so hard! Only a true student from engineering at the UCV and more specifically Chemical Engineering at the UCV knows what I mean...man we did study hard, we were really good students, all of us, with our HP 50 or 49 or 48, studying, analizing, presenting, we were and we are doers, we don´t settle, and I love my classmates so much because I know they relate dearly to this words, WE GRADUATED FROM FUCKING UCV, WE ARE CHEMICAL ENGINEERS, so please if you read this (and I hope you do), please don´t settle with what life gives you, chase your dreams, your true dreams, even if that dream seems like a DiCaprio movie with money to throw away, go ahead, chase it...you deserve it, we deserve it...we did it man, is not an easy thing to do, it was years of studying, of crying, of eating whatever time let us eat, of maybe sometimes not having social life, or having too much social life, we needed each other and believe me, all of you who studied with me and are a part of my student times even tho we might have no graduated together, but all of you are in my thoughts, in my prayers and I wish you the best today and always, you are my motivation to keep going, to keep moving in this word where we as engineers are not well recognise, well paid, and well valorized.

So, this is a "Must keep on moving" letter to you readers, to myself, that life is hard, but we are tougher, that anything and everything in life comes from God´s hand to shows us how strong we are and that our path is only starting with every awakening.

Two months has passed, and many more to come and I only pray to God to give me the strenght to hold it, to keep it and to never look back!

Cheers!